Webinar Series - 3

Aastha offered yet another space for its members to take a pause, reflect & delve deep into the theme of 'Acceptance & Rejection'

Do I disown parts of myself & reject them before anyone else does?

Do I conform or do I rebel to be accepted?
Do I as a human being feel rejected when only my idea or effort or opinion is rejected?
Do I matter or I don't?
Do I fear rejection more than rejection itself & block myself?
Do I postpone myself to strictly follow my 'Rule Book' & society norms to feel accepted?
Why am I misunderstood?

These were some of the questions that came up in our theme based Webinar. The deep dive into 'self' gave way to new meanings & new paths for deeper understanding and further exploration.

DAY 1, Structure:

Each facilitator spoke for 5-7 minutes painting the universe of the growing years through the theme of Acceptance and Rejection.

The space was opened out to the 12 participants to explore the theme and its presence and play in their own lives. At the end of the session, they were left with an invitation to put in writing for themselves, their thoughts relevant to the issues and struggles brought up in the group.

The Exploration:

The areas of exploration were in the realm of the visible and the invisible, disowning parts of the Self and thus rejecting parts within, fears hidden with masks donned and the sense of belonging.

Some expressed their ability to embrace rejection and used it as a springboard. The awareness that it still left them with residual feelings was also acknowledged. The process of humiliation and unworthiness being masked and emerging as defiance, arrogance and a sense of entitlement unravelled for some. Yet others took a closer look at unaddressed repressed anger, lack of acknowledgement and anxiety of evaluation and feedback in general.

Some of the words used to express feelings at the end of the session were: legitimised, intense, unclear, triggered, depth, scary, anxious, hopeful, happy

They were invited to reflect upon the Inner Self as a baby to get in touch with what it feels in moments of rejection.

DAY 2, Structure:

The first fifteen minutes were devoted to getting in touch with what they were with last night and this afternoon in the here and now

Two 'Breakaway' groups were created and explorations undertaken for one hour

The closure was for half an hour

The Start Point:

Participants expressed the feelings of inner churning, confusion, new found awareness of omissions as a pattern and feelings of lack of acknowledgement, the time seemed ripe for deeper exploration.

The Exploration:

The areas of exploration included the perception of acceptance and rejection mainly as success and failure. The process of going into denial after an experience, struggling with the need for acknowledgement, coming face to face with one's own demons, monsters, skeletons and deadened parts of the Self, the hidden Self, was waded through. Issues of trust and their source points were visited by some to look at the insecurity it bred within leaving one feeling broken on the inside. The idea of trusting oneself, one's intuitive self and one's wisdom while retaining discretion, opening a window and not necessarily breaking down walls was also explored. The meeting ground of acceptance and rejection through negotiation was considered as a possibility as was the blurring of demarcation between reality and the imagined. The flavour of abridged stories and music was added to some reflections.

Both groups seemed to return to the larger group with a need for spending a little more time in the small group.

Large Group Closure:

At the closure of the session the words that came forth as expression of what the participants had experienced in the virtual space were:
Unclear, connection with Self is deepening, rewarding, intense and enriching, lightness after getting in touch with inner pain, overjoyed, content, better. The one phrase that came from one participant and seemed to hold true for the group experience was:
Paapdi Chaat!!!

• One third of the participants admitted to sharing what they had never shared ever before!

Interns were asked and the date chosen for review submission is 5th July, 2020.The evening was ushered in and the session closed with the touch of a light song in Raag Bhoop celebrating the hour of twilight.